October 15, 2004

A Man In Full

Mr Neil Falloon writes…

I am having a hard time deciding which party to go to on Hubbard's Winning Day, because I have standing invites from both Diana Hubbard and the inner circle of Citizens and Ratepayers Now. The decision is made for me when I receive an urgent phone message from intrepid NBR journalist Coran Lill.

Falloon, I’m stuck in the oak tree beside the Hubbard house. There’s nothing happening here – Mrs Hubbard was dancing around with the Bible earlier, but she’s just sent everybody home because it’s past Mr Hubbard's bedtime. Here’s the problem: I’m stuck in the tree – I’m too short to get down, and I’m too precious to the NBR to jump. I can’t track down Jock. Can you check out the bar, and if he’s there, send him along with his long pole?”

Jock Andersen, if you’re reading this, consider the message passed on.

Suddenly I have plans. The last time I visited our new Mayoress, she had a noticeable shake, like an electric shock running through her frame. Then her right arm shuddered and headed for the ceiling. It was closely followed by the left, reaching to the heavens in a shuddering fit of biblical emotion while her devoted voice hit the rafters. Much like her behaviour in Church.

Like Dennis Connor, Neil Falloon is always on the winners’ stage. I make a call to Ben Thomas, and send him to cover the C&R party...

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